![]() Trust can not be rebuilt without transparency and awareness of one’s impact on their relationship and their partner. The couple can heal and recover from the betrayal trauma with individual and couples therapy through transparency and building trust. From his perspective, betrayal trauma is a form of domestic violence as the betrayed partner experiences PTSD symptoms and questions all the lies related to the disclosure. He highlights the betrayal trauma and its impact on both the betrayed and betraying partners. Minwilla has been on several podcasts, including Moving Beyond Betrayal. This metaphor shows that the family and home life are affected even before disclosing the betrayal.ĭr. Minwilla stresses that the secret basement impacts the rest of the house and home life without its other members realizing it. Regardless of the number of times the person goes to the secret basement, it is still an area to which only the betraying partner has access. The betraying partner may go down to the secret basement only a few times or frequently. This secret basement provides the betrayer a foundation to watch pornography, interface with another person, hire a sex worker, or have an extramarital affair. Minwilla uses a metaphor of “the secret basement” - a trap door in the floor of the couple’s home, which accesses a basement only the betraying partner knows about. These phases may fluctuate or overlap as the couple goes through treatment.ĭr. Minwilla breaks down the DST model into three stages: the covert phase, exposure phase, and symptom progression phase. Minwilla believes that the sexual behaviors and acting out partner’s responses can be so difficult for the betrayed partner that he categorizes deceptive sexuality as a form of relational intimate partner violence. Deceptive sexuality refers to acting out sexual behaviors, which negatively impact the couple’s relationship. The Minwilla Model explores how to understand, treat, and diagnose deceptive sexuality and trauma (DST). One resource that has proved successful for betrayal trauma is the Minwilla Model. In order to heal, it can be helpful for both the betrayer and the betrayed to use a model to make sense of their experience. Replaying the betrayal over and over in one’s mind. ![]() Questioning the gut and instinctual choices.The Very Well Mind outlines the symptoms of betrayal trauma. At the end of this post, you’ll find a downloadable worksheet you and your partner can use to start navigating betrayal trauma. Healing from intimate partner betrayal is time-consuming and challenging, but there is hope through self-reflection and therapy for both the betrayed and the betrayer. Some typical betrayal traumas include infidelity and sexual addiction. The emotional impact of a betrayal trauma can be extensive as the betrayed person questions their safety and has symptoms similar to PTSD (and may include complex PTSD). Betrayal trauma typically occurs in intimate relationships when there is a violation of trust. And when a betrayal is disclosed or unveiled, the impacted partner can suffer betrayal trauma. There’s no doubt that the ones we love can hurt us the most. “ The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most.” – Author unknown
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